Alright my cherished ones,
I am getting offline to pack up and prepare for my trip tomorrow. If you missed the post I am going to Monterey CA, for a few days to visit my brother. Leaving tomorrow. So I hope you all are safe and have a happy New Years celebration. There are so many people on tumblr that I adore and admire. You all have been my teachers; so thank you for making me a better person. And you all have been people that I care about, even if I don’t talk to you I probably read whatever you write silently cursing my awkwardness. I love you. Yes, I do; don’t deny it.
I will be back soon <3
Snowy
I am going to Monterey, CA, for the next few days to visit my favorite brother, Avi. <3 I got to see him on Christmas day but I only get to see him a few days out of the year so this is such a treat. He is one of the greatest people I have ever known. I am so blessed.
what does Little Bear want for Christmas? :D
Asked by Anonymous
My Little Pony Equestria Girls but I lost an income so she is getting homemade presents :/
I hate that I have to say this
I get a lot of messages, from locals I am guessing, about my grandmother’s murder and sometimes the messages are lamentations and sometimes they are cruel taunts. No matter what part of the spectrum your message falls under the result is the same: you are hurting me.
It was been ten years since her murder and I am just now beginning the healing/surviving process. If you think randomly messaging me about her and how it happened makes me feel supported you are wrong. If you are close to me then you would already know all the information you need to know. If you are using her murder in attempt to injure me you need to seriously reflect on your choices and seek professional help; because these actions are dangerous, cruel, and may lead to acting upon your aggression. Seek help.
If you post images about murder/stabbing/violence, even as “jokes”, you are hurting me. Even people I care about still do these things. And it is triggering. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my grandma. Not a day goes by that I am not triggered. But I am surviving. You are not breaking me; you may feel powerful by using this as a weapon against me but you are not powerful.
What you need want to know about this:
- My grandma (79-at the time) was stabbed 46 times
- She was murdered in her home
-She was found by my 9 year old cousin, whom she took care of.
- She was murdered by a white power, 28 year old white woman.
- The murderer hitch-hiked 50 miles two days in a row waiting for an opportunity to kill her.
- I was with my grandma the day before she was murdered and the murderer was hiding on my grandma’s property at that time.
- I was 15 when this happened.
- My grandma was sent home from the hospital to “say her goodbyes”; there was nothing else the doctors could do. So, Gamache murdered an old lady on her death bed.
- I do not know why she killed her. Gamache claims that she felt insulted by my grandma; that’s all the incentive she needed to justify her actions. (white people cannot stand being insulted by a woman of color)
Your messages will continue to be ignored; but you can no longer hide behind your white privilege ideal that you have “ a right” to know. Now you know. You do not deserve to know, you have no rights to know anything about me or my family. You feel like you have a right to infinite knowledge, even private information; but you don’t have that right. Forge a heart. Gain some compassion. Live in humility.
when your friends and family try to convince you that your lover is bad for you
being in love has made me sappy, clingy, and weak; how embarrassing.
he doesn’t love me and i need a distraction; anyone?
camping out this weekend at the DQ Powwow in Davis, California, with my love <3 hope y'all have a safe weekend
I couldn’t possibly get to be with the love of my life, could I?
crying my make up off. over someone who cares nothing for me… where is the logic in that? anyone want to come over and watch funny movies and eat ice cream?
I can’t say that I enjoy discussing racism online because it is so draining and hurtful to see so many people (white people) say that racism is over and not a big deal, but I want to continue doing it because while researching it I am learning more. I am learning more about oppression and racism from others on this site and for that I can say I do enjoy it.
However, now that the craft classes and archery have started up again, it is sooo wonderful to be in a safe environment and focus on preserving culture and helping each other. That is what I truly enjoy doing.
when i was a child i hated my name “snowy owl” because even at a young age i knew i had white privilege and was different from my family and i associated the word snowy with whiteness.
it took me a long time to get used to the name and so many people make fun of it that i am back to not wanting it.
but then melissa is not my name either. so i am nobody. no name.
when people mock my name they are mocking my family and my people and i am not okay with that. i am not making them vulnerable anymore.
I’m no one special; I don’t know why anyone devote their time to trying to hurt me.
tw: transphobia
i feel like i am going to lose half my family… my sister-in-law wrote a very offensive transphobic comment on her facebook and lots of her friends and family members wrote on it agreeing with her and saying even crueler things. and i effin lost it. i wrote a long, angry reply on her post about how violent and problematic all their statements were, and especially hurtful. she has not responded yet but i know her. she will probably get so mad at me that she will never let me see my niece and nephews again.