Indigenous Rising

I get a lot of messages, from locals I am guessing, about my grandmother’s murder and sometimes the messages are lamentations and sometimes they are cruel taunts. No matter what part of the spectrum  your message falls under the result is the same: you are hurting me.

It was been ten years since her murder and I am just now beginning the healing/surviving process. If you think randomly messaging me about her and how it happened makes me feel supported you are wrong. If you are close to me then you would already know all the information you need to know. If you are using her murder in attempt to injure me you need to seriously reflect on your choices and seek professional help; because these actions are dangerous, cruel, and may lead to acting upon your aggression. Seek help.

If you post images about murder/stabbing/violence, even as “jokes”, you are hurting me. Even people I care about still do these things. And it is triggering. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my grandma. Not a day goes by that I am not triggered. But I am surviving. You are not breaking me; you may feel powerful by using this as a weapon against me but you are not powerful.

What you need want to know about this:

- My grandma (79-at the time) was stabbed 46 times

- She was murdered in her home

-She was found by my 9 year old cousin, whom she took care of.

- She was murdered by a white power, 28 year old white woman.

- The murderer hitch-hiked 50 miles two days in a row waiting for an opportunity to kill her.

- I was with my grandma the day before she was murdered and the murderer was hiding on my grandma’s property at that time.

- I was 15 when this happened.

- My grandma was sent home from the hospital to “say her goodbyes”; there was nothing else the doctors could do. So, Gamache murdered an old lady on her death bed.

- I do not know why she killed her. Gamache claims that she felt insulted by my grandma; that’s all the incentive she needed to justify her actions. (white people cannot stand being insulted by a woman of color)

Your messages will continue to be ignored; but you can no longer hide behind your white privilege ideal that you have “ a right” to know. Now you know. You do not deserve to know, you have no rights to know anything about me or my family. You feel like you have a right to infinite knowledge, even private information; but you don’t have that right. Forge a heart. Gain some compassion. Live in humility.