How come we don't tend to frame friendship as being a potential "ulterior motive"? I don't like framing sex or romance as that. It lends to the idea that some times of relationships as inherently less "pure" or noble than others. Like, if someone's nice because they want to be friends w/ you, is that also worthy disfavor?
Asked by Anonymous
I don’t like making friends with people who fake how kind or considerate they are the same way I don’t want to get into a romantic relationship with someone who fakes niceties.
I prefer honesty and being up-front. I don’t shame those who only want a casual sexual relationship; there is nothing wrong with wanting to have consensual sex between adults. People who are just looking for sex are not necessarily unkind (obviously people are in different spots of “kindness” all over that spectrum).
No matter what kind of relationship you are looking for, be that romantic, sexual, friendship, etc, one shouldn’t fake niceties in attempt to fool another person. (One should be kind and considerate naturally, without selfish intentions)
I “framework” my friendships the way I would “framework” a romantic relationship to a certain point; I will not befriend someone who is cruel and rude, nor would I date them. I hope I answered your question.