needed back story: i don’t eat, maybe eat twice a week usually a piece of bread, but I drink tea with sugar and high sugary drinks, three a day everyday. And it is fattening and I am fat.

However, I still wish my parents would stop insulting my body, stop making condescending remarks, stop saying the reason I don’t have a husband is because I am fat, stop trying to force me to eat after hearing these kinds of comments all week. I have a bad diet. Yeah, I get it. I am not ignorant of nutrition. I fear eating solid food because I hold onto the fear of if I eat that takes away from what my daughter can eat. There were times were food was very scarce and it was so traumatizing that I still refuse to eat now that food isn’t scarce.

I picked up a plate of food a few minutes ago and my father made a remark: “you’re finally eating and you pick something high in fat”. I told him that wasn’t nice to say and he didn’t reply. I put the food down. Not eating.