Praise vs. Encouragement

indigenous-rising:

One of the most important reasons to encourage an individual rather than praise them is to empower that individual. If I give you praise then I am telling you that you need my approval, that your worth is determined by me; when you should be able to define your own worth without seeking out approval from another. This seeking approval can come naturally because many of us want our loved ones to value what we think, feel, and do, and wanting the approval of a loved one is not a bad thing necessarily but one can be supportive while encouraging an individual. Praise is instant gratification; praise is here and gone in a second. “Oh, that’s nice,” the teacher says to the child who just showed them his or her artwork. The child sought attention and appreciation, received a typical response, and returns to their seat. Sure, saying “that’s nice” is a nice thing to say but encouraging statements leave a greater impact and truly shows the individual that you are paying attention. By saying “that’s nice” the teacher has given the child their approval. That tells the child what they did is important if the teacher says so, reinforcing authority, rather than encouraging positive self-esteem.

Here are some examples of both praise and encouragement:

“That’s nice”     vs     “What was your favorite part of ____ ?”

Ex) that drawing, your dance, your song, etc.

“Good job”     vs        “I saw that you _______ “

Ex) handed out the papers, shared that toy, etc.

“That’s/You’re Beautiful”    vs     “Do you like _____  ?“

Ex) your long hair, wearing that color, jewels on your clothes? Drawing princesses? Etc.

“You were the best!”          vs      “You worked really hard, didn’t you?”

“You are so smart”            vs        “How did you think of that?”

“I like it”                           vs           “What do you like about this?”

“That’s my boy/girl/kid”      vs          List some of their achievements:

“You helped them put the toys away, you held my hand while crossing the street, you talked nicely to others, etc.”

“I am proud of you”           vs           “Are you proud of yourself?”

Praise promotes competition, instant gratification, needing the approval of authority figures, codependency, and low self-esteem.

Encouragement promotes positive self-esteem, self-reflection and personal growth, and puts the focus on the child/individual’s efforts and achievements.

why do white people use the argument “some black people were sold into slavery by other black people so black people are either as guilty as we are or more so”. white people bought people, enslaved people, raped people, forced assimilation on people, relocated people, tortured people, and continue to oppress people. there is no way to back out of the it and somehow not being guilty of committing such crimes. not to mention the quantity of black people being sold by other black people is a small fraction compared to the total amount of black people who were taken, also the black people selling other black people didn’t force white people to buy black people. white people bought black people. white people also stole black people. this excuse is tire and invalid. 

sofapizza:

tonimorrisons:

hispanic parents have a sixth sense

#i cant stop watching this vine it’s so well done it deserves an oscar

captivating

(Source: versaceslut, via paganmins)

I had a question are you gay or lesbian and do you think middle schools should be discussing homosexuality or are they too young? i just saw a video and a middle school have a gay straight alliance and it worries me that kids are talking about sex.

Asker's Portrait Asked by Anonymous

Answer

Discussing sexuality is not always the same thing as discussing sex; one can discuss attraction without mentioning sex, one can discuss romantic love without discussing sex. However, middle school aged children need to discuss, verbally express, and receive counseling about their sexuality in a safe, tolerant, and accepting environment. Middle school aged children are thinking about sex and their sexuality, and they are anxious about whether they are normal or okay, or safe. Schools that have clubs, and/or counseling groups, for LGBTQIA students are more tolerant, supportive, and safe; and all students benefit from this. Children who are LGBTQIA deserve safety, recognition, and acceptance.